Monday, May 16, 2011

Teenage trauma

Start grooming yourself as a public person when you begin you musical application.  A self disciplined grooming.  A disciplined respect for yourself, those around you, and what you are wishing to achieve.
You can blow it in an instant.  An impulsive decision can lead to your demise and haunt you for years.  It can disconnect you with the people who admire you and disappoint those who love you.  We are only human so it’s not difficult to make mistakes.
You need to be aware of situations that could lead to your personal and public demise.  Stay alert,  summarize situations with an educated outlook!  Don’t be impulsive.
As a teenager it is hard at times to communicate your feelings to parents but it is the one thing that will assist in clarifying which direction and what actions you should pursue.  A lack of communication between teens and parents is not always because the parents don’t understand even though “the teenager” will dispute this.

As a parent and a grandparent that didn’t always make the right decisions I feel I am adequately experienced in this area to share this advice because yes “I have been there and done that”.
That is the old saying that we hear from our parents from the beginning of adolescence.  There is not one teenager that appreciates that information.
When you are a teenager you know everything and can not see the consequence behind an incorrect decision, especially when you are hell bent on making the wrong decision.  You don’t look at the big picture because as a teenager it is not in your sights.
Anybody over 35 is old and old fashioned and as a teenager you constantly wonder “what would they know”,  especially when a decision is made against what you want to do. That is a perfectly normal outlook.  Nothing new over the generations there!
In youth you are invincible and beyond consequence because apart from getting caught out there is no concept of consequence.  You don’t think too many days ahead let alone years ahead.  The little person that lives within us all will whisper quietly that a particular choice may not right but you go ahead anyway.
You want to try so many things but you need to learn so many things.  Not only learn but understand them and how to manage them personally.  Often as teenagers the reason you do silly things is because you have been instructed not to.  Ironic but nothing new here either.
Scientists have proven that there is a perfectly good reason behind this, but we don’t think about such technical issues as a teenager and a lot of times they are not even considered as a parent.
It’s the LOBES the FRONTALS,  they are a work in progress for many years.
How do we learn to be disciplined within ourselves as we journey the road to adulthood?  Why is there always such a rush to get there?  One reasoning is the “experience”.  The experience of driving, staying out late etc. etc., you know what I mean.
You rush to become grown up.  Grown up so you can make your own choices, do your own thing.  It’s the anticipation of experiencing what you don’t know.  This anticipation can become and anxiety so you become impulsive, you lose control.
Little do you realise the consequence of adulthood.  Responsibility and expectation becomes greater.  Day to day cruising comfortably is replaced with all these new “to do’s” such as work, bills, purchase and maintenance of possessions and in time the “once a teen”  may become The Parent.  Only then is there ability to reflect and appreciate the reasoning behind discipline in decision making.
A public career is social, interactive, communicative and if your heading to the stage as any form of performer a tidy history can and will be advantageous.  You don’t want someone calling personal issues from the crowd.  Personal issues that may have arisen from the wrong choice somewhere along the line.  Not all publicity is good publicity!

I have worked with teenagers for only a short time but I have been a parent for 30+ years and once upon a time I too was the rebellious teenager.  Last year and again this year I have seen young people rushing to become adults and in their haste they have collected unnecessary baggage.  Baggage that I’ve seen weigh them down, baggage that puts them in dark places and cuts into their self respect and esteem.  Consider the future first and focus on what you wish to achieve.
Everyone of us needs to participate in meaningful productivity in our chosen field but the journey starts with you and how you go about applying yourself to the path.  Discipline yourself in the little things from an early age and the road will be not only smoother but clearer with no major potholes or landslides.
You hold the key that opens the doors you choose to open when you chose to open them.
Self discipline and application,  try it and see how it alters your outlook on lots of things.

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